I Only Want Half Of You

Committed Relationship Thing

There are countless perplexing situations us millennials have to somehow address; climate change, creating a more just democracy, eliminating racism, alleviating poverty etc. But despite our abilities to theorize and debate about mind-boggling topics, there's one area we can't really seem to wrap our heads around; the whole "committed relationship" thing.

In an era of Tinder and Grindr too many 20 somethings are finding themselves unable to fully commit to any one person because it "appears" they have too many options to choose from. Somehow this overwhelmingly accepted arbitrary idea that it's not smart to ever give one person your all because someone better may come along has truly screwed up potentially great relationships and made half ass dating the norm.

You Want The Perks, Without the Title

The complication arises because, despite the bleak chance of fully committing to any one person at this age, the yearning for true connection with another individual is still present. You step out into the dating scene and begin the back and forth with someone (or 1< for many) in hopes of really vibing. You analyze them the same way you would any potential partner and you expect a lot to come of their company. I'm talking about the whole kit and caboodle: emotional support, intimacy, intellectual stimulation, and admiration.

But no title. No commitments. No ties.

Before I continue I'm going to call myself out right now by saying I've given into this mentality, but I know it's not okay.

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I'm going to take a wild guess and assume most of you reading this are very single and not openly looking to change that. You tell yourself, "I'm in my 20s for short period of time, so it makes sense to be selfish with my time and intentions". But let's be honest here, you can't deny that hoping to meet an amazing person to share your time with isn't in the back of your mind.

I guess what I'm awkwardly hinting at is that I think it's important to allow yourself to give things a real shot even if you don't exactly know what the outcome will be. If you truly like someone just see where it goes. Stop with the shitty excuses as to why you're not going to be your most genuine open-hearted self because you're only doing yourself a disservice.  If things don't develop the way you wanted, then you are always free to move on. But this idea of half caring/ half trying/ half half half half half is dangerous. We all deserve to feel like we're worth someone's effort and there's no better feeling than knowing you're actually trying.

My fear is that our generation is going to get older and already truly have given into this hesitant approach and it's going to lead us to even less authenticity than what we have today.

We're capable of more and we deserve more.

Xo,

Cat