We're Trying Not To Give Up

We love our women. We respect our women. We protect our women.

Why Must You Lie?

But why must you lie? Why do you give us just enough to get us thinking we're finally getting somewhere then quickly remind us of how dispensable we are to you? Just when we thought you'd finally stepped up to defend us, you left us out to continue this curse of one-sided suffering. As always.

We're floating and falling into the unknown because where exactly are we supposed to be? Where is our world? The world where we can go have fun with our sisters and not worry about crossing paths with the wrong man? The world we know without a doubt will punish those who have repulsed our divine and good-hearted nature. Where is it?  From what I see, all we have is this one. The one where we live in hopes that you'll have mercy and empathize with our experiences.  The ones you assholes put us through.

We've tried our best as mother's to show you, love, so you can live your life showing the same to the next woman. We've tried as sisters to show you what it's like to love and protect your own. We've tried to show you as lovers how to exhibit your sensitivity with just a touch. Is that not enough?

It's Your World Not Ours. Right?

Because it's your world. Not ours. Right? How great it must be to live a life where you face no consequence after violating another being. All the while we deal with the same quandary century after century. Recycled anguish, embarrassment, and torment and you still give us no chance. We express our distress in every language...but you still you don't listen. Instead, we forcefully placate your insatiable desires. We're hurting.

We form groups within ourselves to collectively fight for our voice, but you call us angry. Is it too much to just let us be? Are we unworthy of our peace/innocence/happiness? We're trying not to give up on, but you make it so difficult.  You show no hesitation in letting our violators live life happily while we crumble and dissipate within. Expecting us to keep moving forward and opening our hearts to your intentions. It's becoming too much. We've carried this on for generations on end. You've shown us that we won't be protected by your armor. So instead we'll continue to perfect the craft of building our own.

I wrote this piece after reading the letter the Stanford Victim (I hate that I have to call her that) read to her P.O.S rapist, Brock Turner. It empowered me while managing to surface an intense feeling of impatience. It's a post full of questions because that's all I have. I have no solutions to this. Honestly,  I'm enraged and disappointed at Brock's actions and the fact that the country I live in somehow believes he shouldn't be fairly punished for his actions.

I can't help but think "what if this was me?". Could I hold it together? It's time for men to finally accept the fact that we're not expendable beings existing solely for their pleasure. You can't have us whenever you want. You simply cannot. Fathers, step it up and have these conversations with your sons. Teach them how to truly discern a woman's YES and NO. Clearly, years of interaction kind hearted mothers aren't cutting it so you have to step it up and become exemplary male role models. Yeah, it'll be awkward, but do you know what is truly uncomfortable...?

Yup. That. 

Get it together.